7 Signs You’re Not Living True to Yourself

“The only thing you can take with you when you leave this world are the things you’ve packed inside your heart”- Susan Gale

It doesn’t take much to be a spiritual person. Being spiritual really just means putting the emotional and psychological needs of yourself and others, ahead of the material and physical qualities of the world.

shutterstock_316177406-300x200Being spiritual is about showing compassion and helping others versus a continuous self-serving rhetoric that puts others down, while it catapults you to the top. Being spiritual is about being selfless in material gain and selfish in soul progression. But, when we lose sight of this our energy turns towards these material illusions that can lead us down a path of greed, jealousy and envy.

Because the power of our thoughts are so potent, the energy that accompanies them then radiates from our being like sounds waves. Quite literally, what we think holds its own vibrational frequency and when we align ourselves to what is true to our soul, we find peace, acceptance and harmony in our existence.

7.You overindulge in the material aspects of life.

You could have already guessed this one would be on the top of the list. While physical pleasantries can be comforting at times, we should never let them be at the center of our universe. Be authentic, pursue your passion and the material comforts will follow.

6. You worry too much.

care-self-1000x600Worrying and over thinking stems from lack of trust. When we don’t trust ourselves it’s hard to trust the world around us. But really, it’s like slapping ourselves in the face. When we aren’t confident enough in ourselves to trust our path, we end up undervaluing our own existence. Which leads us to…

5. You undervalue yourself

The best way to describe your higher self in this circumstance is to think of yourself as a child with hopes, dreams, creativity and all of the confidence in the world. When we are young our worlds seem small, and yet our imaginations are ten times greater. When we grow older, our worlds have grown bigger and the opposite for our imaginations. Your higher self knows that you have purpose, your dreams are important and your mind matters. Don’t sell yourself short, you are just as valuable as the next. Thing big, dream bigger.

4. You hold onto things too long.

me1At the fabric of our being we find energy and energy is always in a constant state of vibration. That is to say, energy is always in a state of flux. So should we be. We can allow our minds time to process, this is healthy. However, when we get stuck on things and can’t let go of them, they become weights that we carry around.

Not to get me wrong, I get it. Life can throw us some hard balls, and even more curve balls when we aren’t expecting it. Allow yourself time to process and time to feel. Feeling all of the emotions that we can really makes us feel alive. Embrace your sadness, celebrate your joys and then move on to the next.

3. You ignore your own needs.

It’s easy to get stuck in repetitive energetic cycles which do not serve our higher good. Whether it’s a lifestyle, a job, or a relationship, when we fall into these cycles we feel trapped, all the while knowing it was time to get out a long time ago. Usually at this point emotions begin to stir just below the surface as your inner voice is being neglected.

2. You drown out your inner voice

“Everyone who wills can hear their inner voice, it is within everyone”- Ghandi

alone-sad-girl-waiting-someone-broken-heartWe have all experienced intuition in the form of what we call an inner voice, but the degree of intensity will vary dependent upon the level of ones consciousness. Known as a flash of insight, this natural instinct can go unnoticed if someone has been ignoring it for too long. But when we trust our intuition it allows us to be more consciously aware of situations and activities in our life. Never be hasty, always take a moment to listen to yourself, trust yourself, trust your heart.

When we listen to our hearts, we are in tune with our intuition. This connection reveals the once hidden truths about ourselves, and our current situations in life, allowing us the opportunity to stay in touch with our subconscious mind; releasing us from limitations and removing aspects of the restrictive ego. This then leads to tremendous growth, creativity and an evolution of conscious awareness.

1.You are stuck in the past.

bellesprit.comThe only way to keep the past alive is to recycle the memory. When we recycle memories, we are unconsciously regenerating the old energy of these experiences, in order to “keep them alive” in our cells and when we do this, our ego then continues to feed off of the attachment. This repetitiveness causes our energetic body becomes stagnant and stuck without forward progression.

When you release the past, you raise your vibration and the old energy will die off allowing for new more positive energy to flow through. New energy brings change and change always brings new opportunities for growth and harmony.

by LJ Vanier,

This article was originally published here at isoulscience.com by LJ Vanier March 15 2016 and was featured on thespiritscience.net.

5 Ways to Find Yourself When You’ve Lost Your Way

5 Ways to Find Yourself When You've Lost Your Way

“We only lose what we cling to”- Buddha

Feeling stuck? Don’t sweat it. Sometimes getting lost, is exactly how we find ourselves. In one moment, you may feel clear and concise about your goals in life and the next, you have done a complete 180 degree turn and are set out on a new path. Change is never easy but it is always necessary. Like energy, if things never changed, life would become stagnant, and the more we are able to adapt and flow in a state of non-attachment, the easier we can make it for ourselves.

So, when the wings of change come sailing through, leaving you feeling lost, confused and without a clear direction. Always remember.

5. “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

There is no finish line and there isn’t a destination. “We do not dance and aim at certain spot in the room because that is where we ought to arrive at, the whole point of the dancing is the dance”- Alan Watts.

Every day we learn something, and learning is the most soul satisfying endeavour we can indulge in. The soul loves growth by experience, otherwise…. we wouldn’t be here. So stay cool, calm yourself, you don’t have anywhere to be but where you are.

4. Trust yourself

You are the only one who knows what you are looking for, take your time, go inside and find out what gets your heart pumping and your juices flowing. When change comes it is always needed. Although it may feel like a catastrophe and something you never wanted to happen, in time you’ll see why it had to happen.

3. Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is the first step to courage and is the foundation of self-confidence. But, who really wants to be put in a position where they feel they have no control over anything? It’s a hard spot to be in. Learning to let go then becomes a battle between your spirit and the masks of your ego. Your ego fights to stay in control, while your higher awareness knows its time to surrender. All in this in an elaborate scheme to mask your true authentic self from finally shining through allowing you to find your destined path. You have already made the choices for yourself on a higher level of consciousness, you are simply here to walk them.

2. Take the risk

You will never know unless you try. The greatest part of change is that when one door closes it allows for the opening of others. Life will not leave you without options, but it is your job and choice to take advantage of them when they come.

1. Be stuck

And finally, if you have exhausted all of your efforts in trying to move forward with your circumstance to no avail, it is time to just be stuck. Too often we try to force things when we are bored or unsatisfied, which tends to cause more problems than there were to begin with. If things aren’t manifesting, it might just be that the universe needs the time to reorder itself and gather the energies required to elevate you onto your newly chosen path.

In order to keep the energies that are building for you on their highest possible course, place your disposition into a state of acceptance and gratitude. Take comfort in knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

by LJ Vanier,

This article 5 ways to find yourself when you’ve lost your way was originally published here at isoulscience.com

12 Signs You’re Disrespecting Yourself (and How to Stop)

12 Signs You're Disrespecting Yourself (and How to Stop)

by LJ Vanier,

“How people  treat other people is a direct reflection how they feel about themselves” – Paulo Coehlo

Every relationship we have, can be viewed as a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves and setting the tone for the right relationships, lies heavily upon us. By trusting ourselves, listening to our own thoughts, feelings and emotions, we become more authentic and this gives us the wonderful opportunity to become comfortable in our own skin. Yet, when we are not comfortable with who we are, we project onto others, what we cannot accept of ourselves.

12. You are “judgy”.

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to thinker what he thinks into it” – Ernest Holmes

Remember that each time you lash out against someone, whether it is behind their back or to their face, you are meeting an aspect of your own shadow. So turn those words back around, because what you just said, is exactly what you need to heal, accept and alchemize within you. Tongue lashing someone with crude remarks is a sure sign that you’re not comfortable in your own skin; you’re too hard on yourself and you lack self-acceptance. When we judge others, not only are we bringing forward an aspect of ourselves, we are unknowingly hurting someone else, based on our own perception of the world in how we see others.

11. You seek validation from others.

We seek attention and validation from others when there is something missing. A void that needs to be filled, and without the proper tools and the introspection to understand and alleviate the cause, we search for an external reaction. You are the cause and the reaction. What you seek in the world is already within you, you already know the answer because you asked the question. Measure yourself by your own standards and set the bar high because you’re worth it.

10. You put yourself last.

Doing things for others can bring us joy and satisfaction, but there is a sacred selfishness that we can’t afford to ignore. When we over-indulge in giving our time, our energy and our good nature, we may think that there’s no harm but be warned, like a car we can’t run on empty and we all need a refill. 

9. You repetitively do things you dislike.

Whether it’s a job, a lifestyle or a relationship, continuing on in the same energetic cycle that doesn’t serve your higher good is not only unhealthy, it can cause mental and emotional conditions such as anxiety and depression. If you find yourself feeling like you are stuck on the rat wheel, you already know its time to get off. It will not do you any good now or later, so trust that something better will be waiting for you around the next corner, and it will.

8. You’re angry.

“Anger is a sign that something needs to change” – Mark Epstein

What is anger? where does it come from? and why does it have the ability to boil our blood so much!

A face of the ego, anger can come knocking for a variety of reasons. Anger is a sign that you aren’t satisfied with your current situation, whether it be emotionally or psychologically. To be plain, your basic needs are not being met and your ego “I” is letting you know loud and clear that you need to serve yourself a little better.

7. You let others have too much say in your life.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” -Danielle Laporte

Whether its our parents, our friends, coworkers or our bosses, we are always getting advice from somewhere, (whether we are asking for it or not is a different story.) The point is to entertain a thought without accepting it. Feel for yourself if what you are being told resonates with you, the real you, the child that has hopes and dreams for itself. Be mindful of what you allow into your decision-making, this is your life and you are the only one living it.

6. You tell white lies.

Even the smallest fib, is a reflection of your own self-confidence. Never lower yourself to try to impress someone else. Be you, be real, you are enough just as you are. Anyone who can’t respect the truth, isn’t worth your time.

5. You mask your emotions.

Since I was young, I have always viewed feelings and emotions as separate. I understood that my emotions were based on instances where I had been hurt or wronged and transgressed due to often confusing and difficult times in my life. Whereas my feelings were much different in that they were a clear inner knowing of who I truly was, what I supposed to do and served as my guidepost of light in the darkest of times.

Too often though, I see others unable to differentiate between the two and choose to mask everything that they are feeling due to the inability to comprehend, or the fear of what they might find buried and hidden away in the hidden closets of the mind.

In an attempt to drown emotions, we flush away our elevated instincts (intuition) by use of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and anything else that can be used as a distraction, keeping us from dealing directly with what is at hand. And the greatest tragedy of the matter, is that when we chose to forget the bad, we also forgot the good.

4. You can’t take the bad with the good.

You can’t add anymore water to your cup if it is already full. When we are unable to release past experiences, by working through them emotionally, psychologically and spiritually we feel like we just can’t take another bad, or we think to ourselves, “if anything else happens I just can’t take it”. Naturally, we seek out the fun-filled aspects of life and negate all responsibility. Quite often, this is known as a mid-life crisis. It’s all of things that we’ve been avoiding for so long and they will always at some point work their way forward. Whenever we are ready to stop running and surrender to our own pain and suffering, we can release its hold on us and we are ready to take on anew. Empty your cup.

“it is my solemn declaration that the entire purpose of suffering is to awaken the soul”

3. You’re hard on yourself.

It is my personal belief that self-acceptance and humility fall hand in hand. While there are many people who believe that we all make mistakes, I am not one of them. That is to say, we are perfect just as we are. If someone is going to keep score– stop. Life is about learning and growing, not tallying our karma, and when we can forgive ourselves for the things we didn’t know then, that we know now, we ascend into love and acceptance of self and release the burden.

It’s a weight you’ve been carrying too long, drop the bag.

2. You don’t trust your intuition.

We all have instincts. A flash of insight or an inner voice that guides our decision-making process, but it is your choice whether or not to listen. Make the one that serves you first.

1.You’re not following your heart.

Your heart knows long before your conscious mind has had time to process your feelings. You will always get a soft nudge, an internal knowing, whether you should or should not proceed in any of life’s situations. Yet, it is common that this nudge is overlooked; usually buried by emotional triggers of the brain, that cloud the mind, and steer you off course. It usually why it said that we should never make a hasty decision, and it is dead on. Always give yourself the time to separate your feeling or inner knowing from your emotions and once you have, trust yourself. Trust your instincts and trust in knowing that in life and in love, it always finds a way.

by LJ Vanier,

Originally published here at isoulscience.com March 8, 2016


16 Signs You’re a “Binge Thinker” and You Don’t Even Know It

16 Signs You're a Binge Thinker and You Don't Even Know It

by Brianna West, Thought Catalog

1. When something irritates or fascinates you, you cannot stop thinking about it. It’s not even that there’s anything that you need to mentally dissect – it’s just a compulsion to keep thinking about things ad nauseam.

2. You want to understand the deeper meaning of things, which usually leads to an interest in philosophy, psychology, engineering, or anything that explains how things work or at least theorizes why they are the way they are.

3. You create problems in your life and think your way out of them. If you’re completely honest with yourself, you get a weird high from focusing on issues you semi-construct in your mind, and then “overcoming them.” You’re always looking for the next thing to fix.

4. You subconsciously feel overthinking serves you and protects you. In other words, you think that worrying about things going wrong is the way to make them go right, or that if you are aware of every possible outcome of a situation, nothing can surprise you and nothing can hurt you.

5. Sometimes, you think about your life more than you live it. You wonder what an interaction means more than you enjoy connecting with someone; you fear for the future more than you prepare for it in the present, and so on.

6. You ascribe meaning to everything. Sometimes, this works in your favor (you’re able to be aware of small transgressions before they lead to larger ones). Other times, it works against you very much: you’re left believing every little slip up is a major issue.
7. You agonize over decisions. Sure, indecision is the product of not trusting yourself, but it’s also the product of being too smart for your own good, and being able to see the positive side to any situation.

8. You extrapolate. You spiral when you have a bad day or a negative experience, and start thinking up all the ways it “means” something about who you are or how good your life can be.

9. You can sometimes focus on what things say about you more than how they feel. If you’re honest with yourself, you can see how you may have made choices in the past because they were what appeased your mind, but maybe not your heart.

10. You Google weird stuff. Like, really weird stuff that if your search history was somehow ever hacked and released you’d be forced to live as a hermit for the next 30 years.

11. You have a fascination with creepy, dark or bizarre things. Anything that’s a shadow side of something that exists in real life is something to be mentally explored. Why? Because so few people talk about it (or worse, they reject/avoid it) leaving an endless bank of knowledge to be uncovered.

12. You get really super emotionally involved with TV shows and books and whatever you’re really into at the moment. You can’t just watch a show and then turn off your computer and go to bed. No, you’re left thinking about all the possible scenarios that could emerge from that one incident you saw in the pilot…

13. You want to know what’s “meant to be.” People find this fascinating because there is actually no literal way to ever know that (other than observe what is). Because it’s such an illusive unknown, it’s something you can think through a thousand times over (and never get tired of thinking about).

14. You have to find ways to “drain your brain.” When you need to relax, you basically need to find a way to completely distract yourself or consume yourself with a different task. Just sitting around and reading a book doesn’t do it for you.

15. Even though you claim to overthink, what you really do is over-feel. Emotions are almost always the stimulus of overthinking. Surprise!

16. You’re interested in people and their stories. You like “seeing in the windows” at night. It’s fascinating to you that there’s a whole planet of people living around you that you’re completely unconscious of. The things you don’t know you don’t know are perhaps the most fascinating things of all

This article was originally published on thoughtcatalog.com

4 Ways to Spot a Real Spiritual Guide or Teacher

I have heard the following story:

Three blind men are sitting around a table in a house where they were guests. They are discussing whether the fruit the host offered to them was grape, pear or peach. None of them has ever eaten or touched any of the three kinds of fruit. They have, however, read a lot about different fruit, and from that they knew what experience other people had about them. Each of them had a definite opinion about the issue. One of them said the fruit was grape, the other insisted that it was pear, whereas the third one argued that it had to be peach, and each of them believed that he and only he could be right. The fourth person present, the host who was not blind, said that none of them was right; the fruit they tasted was apple. 

The three blind men, who were unaware that their host was not blind, wanted to convince their host that they were right, they read a lot about it, and they were real experts of the issue. They argued that one cannot just declare about something, in that case, a fruit, that it can only be apple, since every real opinion that promotes scientific progress, may only be based upon a real debate. Their host told them–to no avail–that he could actually see that the fruit they consumed for dinner was apple, and he could not and did not wish to open a debate about it, the three blind men elevated the debate to a spiritual level, and they questioned whether seeing existed at all, or just some high and mighty characters, like their host, invented the idea in order to polish their own. The host was quietly watching them for a while, and he SAW that he was going to be unable to convince them with any argument whatsoever, so he left the room.

What is The Truth?

The truth is that the three blind men did not have any problem with their eyes. Their vision was blurred by thick clouds of thoughts, e. g. like these:

“It is impossible to make sure whether seeing, as a palpable reality exists, and it is not only something that some people –like our host– are dreaming about. Seeing Masters here, Awakened teachers there, that is the situation. We have no clues, we do not know what seeing is, and what alleged seers see. The same applies to the “Masters.” Why would the “Masters” be any better observers than we are, or especially why would they be the carriers of truth? Just because they have meditated for a few years? Or because they were brought up in monasteries? Or because they are good orators? Or because they have a charisma? Or because they are enlightened? These are all subjective, intangible things.”

If these people were able to stay quiet for a short while and turn their attention inward, this thick cloud of thougths would gradually disperse, and they would be able to see reality clearly: the fruit they have eaten wasapple!

It would not even be necessary to explain it to them what it was, as they would recognize it themselves!

Criteria for the Recognition of the Road Signs

This little story illustrates that the Seeker is walking along the Journey shrouded in a thick cloud of their thoughts that prevents them from seeing the path leading to truth.

In these circumstances it is important that the Seekers should recognize and notice the road signs that the awakened, seeing Masters have left behind for them in order to lead them out of trouble.

A few aspects that may help the Seeker to recognize the signposts:

  1. an awakened teacher only teaches freedom, urging the Seeker to wake up, to be free of the mind, the Ego, the world,  customs and traditions etc.;
  2. an awakened teacher never provides methods for the spiritual progress of a Seeker as he is aware all these methods boosts the Ego-dominated mind and deepens the conditioned state of the individual;
  3. an awakened teacher can only be your lighthouse, casting light on your path, but you must understand it and walk your own path;
  4. an awakened teacher never joins the expectations of the Ego and mind, so he will not be anyone the Seeker images him to be.


3 Positive Changes You Experience When You Actually Start Thinking For Yourself

3 Positive Changes You Experience When You Actually Start Thinking For Yourself

Logical thought is one of the main traits that distinguish us humans from other animals.

The majority of people, however, don’t make full use of their thinking capacity, mainly because of the conditioning that they had to undergo when they were growing up, which has made them fear thinking.

Here are the three main reasons why people are afraid to think:

1. Thinking brings change

Thinking can make us reconsider our way of living, allowing us to see things from different perspectives, and helping us find ways to overcome obstacles that we might be facing — in short, it can change our lives to the better, if used wisely.

Although change is a necessary part of spiritual growth, many people are afraid of it, being strongly attached to their past — or rather, their ego — that they identify themselves with. Hence they choose not to think in order to prevent any change from happening, holding on their ego so hard, not wanting to let go of it, even if it only brings them suffering.

When you don’t allow space for change in your life, you will only achieve to stop growing. And although you might superficially feel secure and safe by not taking risks and accepting the challenges that usually result from thinking, in reality you will always be deep down filled with regrets for not daring to create a better life for yourself, and existential fear, arising from your attachment to your ego.

2. Thinking brings doubt

It is said that ignorance is bliss, and that’s true, in a sense. The more ignorant we are, the less we feel the need to think, and hence the less we feel the stress to change and become the greatest version of ourselves.

Many people choose to remain ignorant, afraid that thinking might ruin their lives. This is particularly true for people who identify themselves with ideologies. For example, people who are indoctrinated by religion fear thinking because it might lead them to question and doubt their religious belief systems. Afraid that by doing so they might be judged and possibly sent to hell, they shy away from critical thinking.

In addition, thinking can make you aware of problems that currently exist in your life, urging you to find the solutions to them, which can be emotionally painful at times. That is why many people, afraid of facing their problems, and unwilling to go through the painful process needed to get rid of them, find all sorts of ways to distract themselves from thinking, preferring ignorance to knowledge and conscious living.

3. Thinking brings responsibility

Freedom and responsibility always go hand in hand, but it seems that people hate responsibility, and hence don’t embrace freedom.

From a young age, most people have learned to place all responsibility on other’s shoulders, always blaming people and situations for the life they are living, without ever criticizing themselves, because to criticize yourself means to accept responsibility, and this can sometimes be a big burden.

And what is the best way to avoid responsibility? Don’t think, and let others do the thinking for yourself. You don’t need to tire and stress yourself — somebody else will do the dirty work for you. That’s why we have chosen to give power to politicians and all sorts of leaders, believing that a savior will come to relieve us of anything that prevents us from living the good life.

The truth, however, is that no change can take place unless we change ourselvesfirst, by starting to think for ourselves, be responsible for our lives, and take conscious action in order to create the better life that we wish to experience.

This article was originally published by Sofo Archon at theunboundedspirit.com


5 Ways to Let Go of the Past When You Can’t Stop Holding On

5 Ways to Let Go When You Can't Stop Holding On

“Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you.”- Mandy Hale

How hard is this to swallow? We’ve all heard sayings like this and when our intended paths have been met with a dead-end or a no entry sign it can be really tough to change gears quickly. Sometimes we can see it coming, other times we are blind sided; left in a whirlwind of emotion that seems to penetrate our entire being. Naturally, to try to cope with the harshness of the event that took place, we cling on to whatever we can, like a cat scaling a concrete wall. Until eventually, we can’t hold on any longer and we fall into the pits of rock bottom.
dandelionThe longer we cling on however, the more exhausting the whole process becomes, like trying to swim up-stream after you’ve flipped the life raft.Your only option now is to just go with the flow and know that you will find yourself again, when you reach the bottom of the river.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. If you’ve been hurt until it breaks your soul into pieces, your perspective in life will definitely change, and no one and nothing in this world could ever hurt you again.”- Mareez Reyes 

1.Explore Your Emotions

The toughest part of letting go is realizing why you have been holding on so long. If it is the loss of a loved one, a life partner, a friend or a career, we need to dig deep and understand what root emotion is driving the resistance to change. Many times when we feel loss, we start to feel lost and when this comes, we lose our sense of control over our own lives.

Before these life splits occur, we may have built a stable and fulfilling environment for ourselves and suddenly we have been swung 180 where we just can’t seem make that first step in the opposite direction. Other times, our circumstances were so rocky that just when we finally begin to set out and embark on our own journeys, do our past emotional wounds come flooding back to us.

Ask yourself, why can’t I make that first step? What is it that is holding me back?.

5 Ways to Let Go When You Can't Stop Holding On**If you have lost a loved one, this can be very tough to cope with and excruciatingly painful. You may think to yourself, I just can’t let him/her go. You need to remember that love doesn’t die. Let the attachment fall, and let the love breathe for eternity. Take this breath and then explore deeper into your emotions. Are you afraid of what it might mean if you let yourself be happy again? You are allowed to be happy and it doesn’t mean that you don’t love who you have lost.

2.Remember Who You Were Before

Who were you before all of this? What did you like to do? What were your interests?. Are they the same or have they changed? It’s time to reconnect to you. It’s ok to be selfish, now is the time to take all the time you need.

3.Realize How Far You’ve Come

The person you were before this loss, will not be the same person as you were going in. Each experience moulds us, changes us and reforms us into a new person and it is during these emotional hardships, that come crashing over us, that we are reshaped–for the better. Even if right now, you are filled with hate, fear or guilt. Upon reflection, it is in these pivotal moments where you will find a stronger, softer, more loving, caring and compassionate you, than you ever were before.

4.Notice What You Have Learned

Every experience we have, is a lesson in disguise. Quite often, we will repeat certain scenarios in our lives until we understand the underlying meaning of it all. Sometimes, we need to be completely broken and reborn anew to learn this lesson because that is what it takes to purge our emotional wounds.

5.Reinvent Yourself

letting_goFinally, if you are still at the point where you just can’t seem to move forward and you know you can’t go back. It’s time for a new you. Drop everything for a while and essentially have no opinion or judgement of anything.

Try everything like it was the first time you have ever tried it. Do things that are out of your comfort zone, that you couldn’t imagine yourself doing before. Through your own trial and error and with an open mind, you will find the you, you have always been searching for.

 “Never stop discovering yourself, it is a quest that will never cease”-

by LJ Vanier

After Reading This, You Won’t Masturbate The Same Way Ever Again

After Reading This You Won't Masterbate the Same Way Ever Again

Sexual energy is the energy of life itself. It is the source of all creation and the essence of the universe. It has always been a quest for humanity, to harness this sexual energy and use it to transform higher states of consciousness.

The desire for sexual expression is by far the strongest and most impelling of all the human emotions, and for this very reason this desire, when harnessed and transmuted into action, other than that of physical expression, may raise one to the status of a genius”- Napoleon Hill

According to Napoleon, the term ‘genius’ can be characterized simply by ones ability to “increase the vibrations of thought to the point where one can freely communicate with sources of knowledge not available through the ordinary rate of vibration of thought”.

2015-09-03-1441295533-4504879-EricaJagger515234-thumbTherefor, by harnessing this libido energy rather than exasperating it during sexual intercourse or masturbation, we can wield it into a creative power that elevates our consciousness.

Now having said that let’s be honest, for the most of us were not going to just stop doing it. Especially, if we are not at the point in our spiritual journey that calls for a period of celibacy as found in many shamanic practices as well as other religious and spiritual teachings…

So what can we do to still get the benefits, without diving full fledge into abstinence?

1.Set Your Focus

We all require some type of external stimuli, whether this is just a memory or visualization in your head, we all need something to focus on. Instead of your usual pornography or fantasy, set your intention on something more creative and incorporate the law of attraction into your practice.

KissDoorwayFor example, you’d love that promotion at work, or you liked how you created with another person or several people and everything just seemed to flow. Anything, get creative! Set your goal of what you want to achieve… and “birth it into creation” so to speak.

It is the most powerful energy in the entire universe, use it to your advantage.

2.”Ankh” it

Ancient Egyptians, believed that the orgasm was the key that lead to eternal life and in the Kaballah, it is believed that sexual desire is the deepest of spiritual expression. Yogic philosophy also maintains the understanding that when the dormant sexual energy is awoken it will ignite the kundalini in the spine and activate the entire chakra system. What differs between these practices, is that the Egyptians believed that orgasm is really quite healthy and necessary for the Mer-ka-ba or light body, while others practice control of orgasm in order to prevent ejaculation.

While the ancient teaching to ankh the energy is quite complex, and most of us don’t actually own an “ankh”, an easy way to ensure energy re-circulation without loss is by simply placing your left hand (right hand if you’re left-handed) over your sacral chakra while masturbating. In the same fashion in which we collect Qi energy then take your hand and place it on your chakra and begin circling. (rub the area just below your naval in a circular motion).

Women start your first circle upwards towards the heart and men downwards towards the root. You will find with this technique, that your orgasms become more potent and fulfilling all the while ensuring proper energy flow.


WomanLyingInBed-850x400Traditional Chinese healing has always involved putting energy in and collecting energy through the sacral (the area just below/at the naval).

When you are finished, keep your hand over your sacral chakra and hold it for up to 2 minutes. This will allow for the energy to be replaced as well as any energy expelled to be recovered.

Now what are you waiting for you horny buggers.

by LJ Vanier

Originally published here at isoulscience.com by LJ Vanier December 15,2015

Image credits 1, 2

The Alter Ego: How to Re-Integrate Your Shadow Aspect

It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster. ~ Carl Jung.

shadow side1Have you ever felt like something just “came over you”? an alter ego that just seemed to take over, leaving you thinking to yourself, why the hell did I do that? Or you might be thinking to yourself, “that wasn’t me” or “how could I have done this!.

Well, welcome to your dark side. Let’s dive in.

First off, don’t feel guilty. It happens to just about everybody. The key is understanding why it happened and how we can learn to integrate this alter-ego or shadow self, before it reeks havoc in your life the next time.

According to Jung, the shadow side can be classified as the hidden, repressed and for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors and so comprise the whole historical aspect of the unconscious’’ (cited in Diamond, p. 96).

We, for the most part, avoid our shadow selves by projecting onto others what we reject  about ourselves and by this projection of consciousness, we disassociate vital aspects of our unconscious minds. In doing so, we become out of balance, focusing only on the “love and light” personas and thus this repressed shadow self can become a destructive untamed force, that can take over in stressful situations, lack of sleep or alcohol and drug induced states.

The more we reject, project and avoid, the more this alter ego builds and eventually rears
its ugly head, coming around to bite us in the ass when we least expect it. This alter ego, if not integrated, has consequences at an individual and collective level and can be what we consider the “self-destructive” aspect of our consciousness.

shadow side2It is the tired belief of good and evil, dark and light; the socially acceptable and unacceptable. The same mentality of raising our children with “good boy or bad boy reward and punishment” causing an interior split, where the angel on the left shoulder and the devil on the right are born.

If accepted and integrated however, your shadow self can serve a positive purpose, as it is in this unconscious we find our clearest creativity and natural expression.

To embrace and integrate our shadow aspects, does not infer that we are to act upon our every desire, lust or rage. Its purpose is to shine a light on what is being hidden and in doing so you will catapult an evolution of consciousness, a: psychological transformation;  one that many shamanic teachings also encourage.

“Bringing the shadow to consciousness” “is a psychological problem of the highest moral significance. It demands that the individual hold himself accountable not only for what happens to him, but also for what he projects. . . Without the conscious inclusion of the shadow in daily life there cannot be a positive relationship to other people, or to the creative sources in the soul; there cannot be an individual relationship to the Divine’’ Liliane Frey-Rohn (1967) (cited in Diamond, page.109)

In order to go beyond something one must first acknowledge its presence and for each of us to ascend into the light of rebirth, we must light the shadows of the mind. In doing so, you accept and embrace this shadow self and in turn release its hold on you.

shadow side 3To recognize a shadow self, is easier than one might think and this is because every person on this beautiful planet is your shadow. How? Because as we mentioned we project upon others both the positive traits of ourselves, as well as the negative.

To reintegrate our shadows, we can start with 4 simple techniques. Recognize, Reverberate, Reintegrate and Repeat; here’s how it works.

Let’s say you are having a conversation with a coworker and this coworker really gets under your skin. You feel a competitiveness with this person, you may even feel threatened. Simply, this mate just gets your goat and you can’t seem to overcome it. You would rather that they not be working with you, but it’s not your call to make. What do you do?


Recognize the main emotion you are feeling. Is something feels off, it always is and we need to trust that feeling. Are you jealous or envious in some way that you may not be consciously aware of? Really think about it, and find that deep-rooted emotion.


Most often competitiveness will sprout from capabilities that you recognize in another that you also possess. This person would not have the ability to “get to you” unless they possessed a reflection of your own strengths and weaknesses. What qualities does this person possess that you can also find within you? Write a list if you need, chances are you are going to find many.

3. Reintegrate

Once you have recognized this person as a vibrational match to you in ways that you were not previously aware of by reverberating your own strengths and weaknesses, you can now reintegrate these qualities within yourself.

4. Repeat

With each person you encounter, find the ones who really annoy you, seek out “your enemies” and find what it is that is “making you tick”. Repeat this process, and guaranteed each time you will find something you never knew about yourself. You will bring it out into the light and find the darkness so you can shine a little light on your way.

Every person in your life is a teacher and each experience in your life is a lesson. Living, is like looking into a mirror, every teacher is you. – LJ Vanier

Originally published isoulscience.com December 6, 2015

5 Strong Signs You Need Emotional Healing

5 Strong Signs You Need Emotional Healing

Do you run your emotions or do your emotions run you?

It’s a simple question that is loaded with thought-provoking, inner exploration. One that really makes us sit back and think about what really is steering course in the direction our lives are headed. Are you on track towards a collision or are you on sailing on smooth waters? are the questions you need to ask yourself.

emotional healing3Emotions play a major role in shaping the paths in life we take. Therefore it is crucial to be in a place of mind where we can be confident that we are letting our clear intuitive processes have the controls, rather than allowing our emotions to run the show.

Don’t get me wrong emotions are a good thing, they give us the ups and downs on the road of life. To experience joy, grief, sadness and exhilaration are what being human is all about! Yet, it’s all about sitting back and knowing that an emotion is just that: an emotion and by recognizing it, you can control how you feel and take back the seat of power in your life.

1.You’re stuck on repeat

Recreating certain scenarios in your life is a sure-fire sign that you have former emotional traumas that require healing.

You may find that you keep choosing the same partner, the same job or the same living arrangements all of which do not serve your higher good. You may find that you are prone to addictive substances and crowds of people you also are prone to this emotional healing4behaviour. Know that you are not weak, you just need healing.

Until you can pinpoint the root cause of your emotional turmoil, the cycle will continue to repeat itself and you will find yourself creating the same situations and circumstances in your life. Former emotional problems that you may have thought you had conquered can come bubbling back to the surface, reaking havoc in your current state. This can leave you blaming yourself for things that you do, without knowing why you do them.

Never blame yourself, instead take positive action in determining what it is that you need to heal.

2. Your mind is overworked

We all find it difficult to stay in the present moment. Our minds are always wandering, worrying and fantasizing about the past or the future. It seems that we do everything and anything we can not face our current reality.

5 Simple Ways to Stop Overthinking and Calm and Overactive MindWe dream of the future to distract ourselves from the present, in order to forget the past and the more we use our minds to avoid our present situations the more overworked we become all in order to avoid a past that hasn’t been healed.

Be gentle with your mind, by healing the past we can live in the present moment more fully and find peace.

3. You’ve lost your intuition

When you can’t differentiate between a feeling and an emotion, we know that there are wires crossed.

serendipityEmotions are a product of thought forms and without thoughts emotions wouldn’t arise. They are the product of external and internal happenings and are reactionary. By recognizing this, you endeavor into a state of awareness, of your own emotional state.

Feelings however are your natural intuitive ability to discern a situation without providing an emotional response to it. When emotional trauma is present, one cannot  discern between an emotion and a feeling and the internal compass has lost its magnetic direction. Essentially you cannot get a gage how you feel versus what you feel.

4. You’re reactive instead of proactive

As mentioned above, emotional response is reactionary to your external and internal thoughts.

emotional healing2Throughout your conversations with others you will find that you have triggers that you may not be aware of, as unconscious memories are hardwired to different types of thought forms coded with emotions. These then become our perceptions of the world, which become our core beliefs.

When faced with difficult situations where strong emotions come bubbling back to the surface, it is important to immediately recognize it and think before you speak. Most often, the external happening that you are perceiving is not as it seems, but merely a perception of your own belief.

When you can recognize this unhealed emotion, you can then empower yourself to heal it before it reaks more havoc in your life.

5. You find it difficult to trust 

This will be the most obvious sign that you have unresolved emotional disturbances. The inability to trust others is a defense mechanism that we all naturally possess, as a means to protect ourselves from past emotional trauma.

elephyYet, finding the root of the problem is more difficult to pin down, and may not be what you think it is. Quite often we bury memories of hardships deep down into our unconscious mind where it appears to be all but forgotten. Only to manifest negatively  in others aspects of our lives.

When this happens it is important to make the unconscious-conscious when you feel ready to do so. It is only by bringing our memories forward can they be appropriately healed allowing for closure and emotional progression.

“Happiness or sorrow, whatever befalls you, walk untouched and unattached.” Buddha

by LJ Vanier

Originally published here at isoulscience.com by LJ Vanier November 26, 2015.

5 Warning Signs You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated

Emotional Manipulation is a childish game, and whether we like to admit it or not, its one that we have all played. It is the ‘go to’ tool of the ego and we all have an ego, it just depends on what level of functioning each of us have matured to, that reflects how well we can balance the three aspects of our psyches in order not to emotionally manipulate others into getting what we want.

As we grow, from children to adolescents and to adulthood, we form constructs and these constructs in our minds are based upon what is self-serving and gratifying, as well as what is socially acceptable. Now, based upon these two components, we then form an ego which balances what it is that we want, and what is an acceptable amount we can take from others and “get away with it.”

Sounds villainous right? Well it is, however we have to admit we are selfish and that’s o.k. This game we play with others, a struggle of power, has been played since ‘forever’. But when you are being outwitted by a master manipulator the game really isn’t all that fun.

1.They Use Your Words Against You.

5 Ways You Are Being Emotionally Manipulated and You Don't Even Know ItMaster manipulators know just how to turn the chess board back around on you, and say here your move, but ‘just so you know, you’re already in check’. For example, you confront him/her with, “I am really angry that you didn’t come home when you said you would, and you didn’t even call”. A typical response would be something like “I am really sorry I didn’t call, but you see I should have told you about the intense personal stresses I am undergoing right now, but I didn’t want to trouble you with all of my personal pain. You are right, I should have called, I should have put this all aside and….” the list goes on.

2.They Have Sudden Short Term “Memory Loss”

If you feel like you are having sudden spontaneous memory problems, take care in knowing, it’s not you. These people are experts in persuading others to do what they want for them and so they will deny, anything negative about themselves; shifting the blame back on you until you think you must be losing your mind. It might be a good time to start keeping a journal.

3.They Are a Willing Helper

These sly foxes, know how to appear to be a willing contender. No matter what you ask for the answer is always yes. But then, the grunts, groans and scowls come out. They know, just how to let you know, that they are not pleased and it’s easy to see through emotional healing2their charming facade. Their aim is to make you feel guilty for even asking so that you won’t ask again the next time.

4.They Guilt Trip You

Whatever difficulties in life you may be experiencing, an emotional manipulator always “has it worse”. They make you feel like what you are worrying about is petty and unworthy of the thought. While their own personal struggles are of tremendous importance.

5.They Make You Feel Sorry for Them

If we add up all of the above, you are left with nothing but feeling sorry for them, as if you should be more sensitive to their needs and emotions. Emotional manipulators can’t help but push you to try harder all the while they bask in the attention, at the sacrifice of your own needs.

emotional manMost people who end up with emotional manipulators and don’t recognize it, are the really caring types. The ones who want to help people due to their soft hearts and compassionate nature. Master manipulators already know this, it is precisely why they reeled you in.

Hoping that if they could get you feeling guilty, then feeling sorry for them, they will be able to keep you around as an emotional dumping ground.

If you recognize any of these signs, understand what is happening and take care of yourself first. Great lessons can be learned from these types of people (narcissists), and when you find the courage to walk away from a relationship like this, you will become stronger and more confident than you have ever been.

by LJ Vanier


5 Simple Ways to Stop Overthinking and Calm An Overactive Mind

5 Simple Ways to Stop Overthinking and Calm and Overactive Mind

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Lao Tzu

18 Signs You're Stronger Than You ThinkOver-thinking is a problem that affects all of us. It is the constant bombardment of the mind, that takes us out of the present moment, and plummets us into thinking about the past or worrying about the future.

Over-thinking creates problems that may not have even presented themselves, had we not given them so much attention or “built them up in our minds”. It’s the art of making a big deal about something, that never was to begin with.

While we may be thinking that by cycling this information in our minds that we are protecting ourselves somehow, on the contrary, the mind is acting as a defense mechanism to protect the constructs of our own individual identification.

According to Freud, there are three psychological aspects that make up our personalities. The first being the I.D, alike to a child, it is selfish and self-serving fueling the pleasure-oriented portion of the personality. The second is the super ego, which acts as the moral basis determining between what is good and bad, right and wrong and the third is the ego which acts as the moderator between the I.D and the Super Ego, seeking compromise.

8 Signs of an Out of Control EgoThis ego then creates defense mechanisms, which it believes that it protect itself from uncomfortable life situations and it is through these defense mechanisms that we begin to fantasize, idealize and project internal unresolved emotions, as well as uncomfortable thoughts onto others through a process of overactive thinking.

Basically, the ego can’t face reality and so it creates an internalization of uncomfortable happenings and remolds them into something that it is able to handle.

This processing of thoughts than cycles in the mind constantly as the ego continues to try to protect itself without dealing with the unresolved emotions and healing that is required.

In order to stop overactive thinking, and stay in the present moment we need to understand why we are fantasizing, what we are avoiding, and how we are projecting our internal states onto others.

true nature of the egoWhen we can heal our unresolved emotions and past thoughts, it is then we can find peace in the present moment.

Unlike other articles you will find, I am not going to tell you to think positive or repeat positive affirmations, nor am I going to tell you to get out into nature or any other distractive process that masks the origin of the problem. What I am going to tell is this. Take a deep breath, and let go. What are you still holding onto? What hurts can you not forgive?  and can you forgive yourself? It’s time that you give yourself the keys to your own freedom.


What is, what was and what is still to come.


For the hurts you have caused and hurts you have endured.

3. Gratitude

For everything and anything in your life that has value.

4. Humility

To humble yourself is to know that you are not above or beneath anyone else. Go easy on yourself, its o.k to not be perfect.

5. Patience

In time you will see, that you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

We dream of the future, to distract ourselves from the present, in order to forget the past.

Heal the past, live in the present and don’t rush to the future. Life is a journey and it will all be over before you know it.

by LJ Vanier

Originally Published here by LJ Vanier isoulscience.com November 25, 2015