Relationships can be messy. While things may seem calm and cool from an outside perspective, as we all know appearances lie. Some couples may seem to have their dirty laundry tucked in tight, yet behind closed doors, there are wrinkles old stains and seams that never quite seem to get ironed out.
6. Plan Your Argument.
Before, you go tongue lashing your partner, first take a breath, collect your thoughts and present your case. Wait for a response. You may want to write down the issues you are experiencing if the problem is more on a repetitive basis.
5. Listen to Listen.
People listen to respond. Have you tried listening to listen? So many arguments occur where each person is quickly trying to say their own piece. What happens is you both talk over each other and no one hears a damn thing.
4. Keep it confidential
Heated arguments should always be kept confidential, exclusively. between the two.
3. Fight Fair
You might be thinking, I thought these were 6 tips on how to fight fair?
And fighting fair is one of them. Fighting fair means, Isolating the problem and discussing the issue until it is resolved. In order to fight fair you both need to be aware of the issue. Approach the problem openly and honestly. If one person, is hiding cards under the table, then it isn’t a fair fight.
It is been said that 10% of conflict is due to a difference of opinion and 90% is the tone of voice. Go beyond the anger and get to the root of the problem. Your job is to remove the surface layer, defensive mechanism, i.e anger and find the real underlying emotion, the hurt.
Can you put yourself in someone else’s shoes?
Sure you can, we all can. It’s about thinking if I were you and if you were me, how would I be feeling right now? And let that sink in.
Soon, after all of your ego’s plight is over, and you’ve given up the need to feel validated, heard, justified, right, or whatever your ego-self sought after. This beautiful little spark of light will reach your heart, and it will open like a flower. Breathe it in, its called empathy. Caring for someone so deeply, that when they are hurt, you are hurt, when they are sad, broken, and feeling unloved, you also feel it at your very core.
Best of luck and remember to always fight fair!
Did you know that 57 percent of those in unhappy relationships still find their partner extremely attractive? I guess some people who argue a lot are still so so hot for each other,. Who has time for dirty laundry anyway?