When was the last time you gave yourself credit for doing a job well done?
Most of us have a difficult time acknowledging ourselves. As a result, we are our own worst critic and suffer internal angst. Although we may seem happy on the outside, the inside is a raging battlefield. Self-loathing, hate, and shame are the biggest barriers to fulfillment.
I know this all too well. I spent three decades hating myself, at war with my body, suffering immense personal hate and shame. But there is a purpose to this type of pain. In my new book Adventures for Your Soul, I share specific steps you can take to overcome self-sabotage so you can reach self-love.
In doing research for my next book, I discovered that we all want to be happy, but self-shame blocks us. A recent Dove Study says that 95% of women hate a part of themselves. I know we are our own worst critics, but life doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, self-love starts with appreciation. If you struggle with loving yourself, first try to appreciate you and all your efforts so far. By acknowledging you, you show yourself you matter.
And you do matter!
Maybe you are like I was. My view was pretty grim: I had given up on trying to love myself, and felt like I was doomed to be fat, alone, and sad for the rest of my life. But something happened while writing my last book. I found real, honest, raw self-love. Not the selfish kind, because real love is not selfish, but the self-love that makes you happy from the inside out. The kind that makes you drive down the street with a perma grin because you are so in love with life and yourself. The kind that other people compliment you and say, “Wow, you look so happy. You’re glowing.” The kind where when you walk in a room, people stop in awe of your natural charisma and beauty.
Seem to good to be true? It’s your divine responsibility to accept who you are so you can shine brightly.
I am talking about the kind of self-love that can only come when you allow yourself to be who you really are instead of who you think you should be. I found self-love and it is beautiful.
Over the past few years I’ve received hundreds of emails from people all around the world. The number one question I get asked is, “How do you love yourself?” Well, today I pull back the curtain on my own self-love journey and share three easy steps you can do right away to feel more self-love:
1. Be willing
The first easy step is to be open and willing. This requires a focus and setting an intention that you want to feel more compassionate toward yourself. Sometimes we have blocks we don’t even realize. Repeat, “I am willing to let go of this insecurity.” Just in the willingness, a shift will happen inside of you.
2. Allow yourself to be gentle
When you are mean to yourself, it is impossible to be happy.It is important to turn your inner critic into a more kind and compassionate voice. Instead of beating yourself up emotionally for not being where you think you should be, start to celebrate how far you’ve come. Small moments of kindness will transform your life. It is about being gentle and into yourself
3. Respect yourself
When you say, “I matter,” you are saying to the world, “my dreams matter.” You are in a relationship with yourself, and as in any relationship that is strong and loving, you want kindness, respect, and compassion. Communication is essential for opening up to new possibilities of self-love. This means communicate with yourself and listen to your own inner guide. Ask yourself, “What do I need today? What does my body want? What is my soul craving?” These key questions will guide you to a more loving way of life.
Your turn! I’d love to hear from you; What is your soul craving? Leave in the comments below.
About the Author
Shannon Kaiser is the best-selling author of Find Your Happy, Find Your Happy Daily Mantras and her newest book Adventures For Your Soul. Named the “Top 100 Women to Watch in Wellness” by Mind Body Green. Shannon is the founder of playwiththeworld.com a personal development website. Shannon is an author, speaker and life coach and her work has been recognized on media outlets such as Huffington Post and Health Magazine.
This article has been published with the expressed consent of the author